Friday, August 23, 2013

Simply Amazing - Chapter 11

Jessica awoke late the next morning after finally drifting off to sleep just as the sun began to rise.  She stretched out nudging Jason’s sleeping form next to her.  He was still there, fast asleep.  Not wanting to disturb his slumber after his restless night of aches and pains he received from his latest beating, Jessica silently crawled out of bed very cautious not to wake him.  Making her way downstairs to make a pot of coffee, she wondered what would come of their relationship next.  How would he try to win her over if she left for New York?  If she was perfectly honest with herself she knew he would have no problem with achieving his goal.  Jason never gave up on something he wanted; she knew this from past experience.  He was smooth and unrelenting.  It was only a matter of time…
There had never been an argument since they started dating that he wasn’t able to worm his way out of.  No matter how mad she had been Jason always found a way to get her talking to him again.  Then again he had never hurt her as bad as he had this time.  It felt so confusing to feel one way one moment only to feel the complete opposite the next.  This time away should help put a perspective on things. 
Jason slowly made his way into the kitchen and over to the breakfast bar where she was still seated soaking up the warmth of the sun as the late morning passed.  Sipping her coffee she watched as Jason poured a cup feeling very familiar in the Tramane kitchen.  When he sat down next to her he finally spoke, “You’re still leaving…”  He didn’t ask but rather stated as he already knew her decision. 
Jessica took a deep breath, looking down at the coffee as she swirled it around in her cup.  “I think I need to.”
It was quiet once again and when he spoke his next words it startled her.  “Alright…I’m going with you.”  Perhaps it was the words she had just heard or maybe even the definitive way he spoke them, Jessica knew this man was here for the long haul no matter what.  He was here to fight for them and it was very touching.
“No, you have work and you just landed the Dawson case.  You know you can’t leave now,” Jessica said really taking a look at her husband.  He seem different somehow….tired and worn.  This whole mess, which he created, was also taking a toll on him as well.
“There will be other cases Jess but there’s only one you…”
“No, I don’t want the added stress of you leaving such an important time in your career.  I don’t want to be a part of that.  Plus, I don’t think you should come with me.”  Her words stung him she knew even without having seen it upon his face she knew.  “I need time, that’s all.  I can’t see you every day and be able to look past everything.  I just can’t…”
With a sigh, Jason reached over and took her hand.  “I’m sorry Jess.  I know I need to let you go but it’s killing me inside.  I messed up, I know.  If not every day then how about just the weekends?  I could fly out at the end of each week and spend the weekend winning back your love.”  He was serious about this.  He had a look of determination and hope.  The spark was just a small glimmer barely visible in his eye but it was there nonetheless.  Jessica had to smile at his will of strength for them and their marriage.  “Does that mean yes?” he asked smiling at his apparent win.
“You’re too much do you know that?  Alright, you can come on the weekends but only if you end things with what’s her face…”
“Already done…”
“Swear to me, Jason.  Promise me things are over and you will never do this again,” Jessica held his gaze, serious once again.
“I swear to it.  It’s over and I promise you I will never stray again.  I love you, Jess.  I won’t take a chance on losing you again,” Jason swore to her with his hand over his heart, his left hand raised as he made this pledge.
“Fine, I’m leaving tomorrow.  You can come see me next weekend.  Don’t make me regret this Jason.”
“I won’t, I promise,” he said as he jumped out of his chair to give her a hug only to stop mid step from the shooting pain in his ribs.  Jessica jumped up and assisted him over to the sitting room where he could lie back on the sofa and rest his aching bones.  The late morning faded into afternoon then early evening as the two sat talking and enjoying one another’s company as if nothing had occurred these past few weeks.  It was relaxing.  It was blissful.  But would this be able to last…only time would tell and she was ready to forgive. 
The week passed quickly as Jessica spent the entertaining hours of her days with her niece’s giggles and the companionship of her brother and his wife.  Jason flew out to visit as planned and their friendly banter continued on making it difficult for them to say goodbye when it was time for Jason to head back to LA.  It had been a good visit.  Dinner in the city, dancing until dawn, they were dating again and rekindling their love.
Each weekend had been different.  Jason had things planned each and every time they were together.  It was magical.  Jessica looked forward to their visits and wondered if it was time to go home.  The divorce petition had been cancelled and here it was six weekends later and things had definitely seemed like they had changed.  The only problem now was it was not a good time to move back home.  Jane was due in just another two weeks and she had been having contractions for the past month as it was.  The baby would be here before they knew it and Jessica had promised to be here to help out.  There was that saying “absence makes a heart grow fonder…” well wasn’t that the truth.
Jackson was forced to hold his tongue on the subject of Jason, all thanks to Jane.  It had been something Jessica overheard during the first week she had arrived.  Jane was trying to reason with Jackson on Jessica’s behalf.  It’s her decision, she is a grown woman and this is her life…” she had said to an arguing Jax.  He only wanted the best for his sister.  It really bothered him that Jason was still in the picture after the way he treated Jess.  It was just unfathomable that this dirt-bag was still in the picture.  Even worse was the fact that he had to be civil to this scum each time he flew in to visit, even welcome him into his own home for crying out loud. 
It was the last time that Jason had come to see Jessica before the baby was born that she first had the familiar stirrings that something just didn’t feel right.  Jason tried to put on a smile and be attentive but every now and again she would witness this lost and devoid look in his eyes.  When she questioned him on it he would rub his neck, run his hands through his hair and mentally shake whatever was troubling him out of his mind.  It’s nothing, just work...” he would use as his excuse.  She knew it was possible he was telling her the truth.  After all Jason had been working day and night on this case and then would fly across county to see her made it hard to catch up on his sleep.  He must be feeling run down but was too devoted to making her love him again that he neither cared nor thought of how it was affecting his health and sleep patterns. 
When Jane had gone into labor the Tuesday after Jason’s last visit Jessica called him ecstatic with the news she was sure would make him just as happy.  “It’s happening!” she exclaimed over the phone.  “We’re at the hospital right now.  I can’t believe it…it’s finally time,” she said joyously.
“Hey, that’s great honey.  Make sure you give my best to Jane and Jax,” Jason said with a smile.  Although he sounded happy the exuberance that she felt was missing from him.
“Are you busy?”  She had to ask because it was obvious he was distracted.
“Uh, no, just working…” his answer was short and his voice seemed to trail off clearly distracted as she had guessed from his first answer.
“Oh…it’s just…never mind, forget it.  I’ll let you go then since you’re busy.”  She felt disheartened.
“Jess, wait…” he sighed, “I’m not busy.  So how is Jane doing?  Is she feeling alright?  I bet Jackson is a nervous wreck.”  Jason leaned his head back and closed his eyes.  He had to focus and not slip up now after all the progress they had made.  He needed Jessica in his life and things had been improving.  Jason was sure once she returned from New York things would go back to normal and Jessica would move back home.  Things were within his grasp.  Spencer had been right, after word started to spread of their impending divorce Jason began to receive the cold shoulder from many who were influenced by the Tramane family.  Fixing their relationship would benefit him both personally and financially.  Plus there was the fact that he really did love her.  She was fun, caring and most of all she was gorgeously sexy. 
“He’s holding up pretty well under the circumstances.  Well, he’s trying to make out that everything is fine but if I know my brother he probably wishes everything was done and over with and everyone was fine.  Jane’s doing great though.  She’s calm and she’s holding back the pain as much as possible trying not to worry Jax.  I envy them…their love for each other,” Jessica admitted wishing it was her and Jason going through this situation right now.  Although her career was still first on her mind being around Summer these past few weeks has made the desire burn even more to have children of her own. 
“That’s great.  Make sure you call me as soon as the baby is born.”
“Alright…I miss you, Jason.”
Jason breathed heavily on the phone.  With a tug at his heart he finally spoke, “I miss you too.  I love you honey.”
Jessica ended the call with unease flittering through her body.  The feeling dissipated almost instantly as Summer came running over, quite unsteady, and grabbed onto her leg.  Picking up the toddler full of giggles she pushed the feeling aside and went to check on Jane.

Friday, August 16, 2013

Simply Amazing - Chapter 10

Finally at home, Jessica sat up in her room with music filling the quietness.  This time it wasn’t helping her like before.  No, this time it was as if the music wasn’t even on.  Replaying what was witnessed at the diner earlier over and over in her mind she wondered if Jason had finally ended things with that slut.  But why now and did it have to do anything with last night?  It was apparent that they were arguing about something.  Watching Jason’s lips as he said “wife” was clearer than anything else.  Jessica knew the argument was about her and for some reason that made her feel really content.
The ringer on her cell vibrated loudly on the night stand next to the bed.  For a brief moment Jessica thought it could have been Jason.  She knew from his reaction as he searched the diner that he noticed her car in the parking lot.  It wasn’t Jason however, it was her brother.
“Hey Robbie,” she answered, lying back down across her bed.
“So why do I have to hear about your divorce from Jax instead of you telling me yourself?”  Rob questioned her as soon as she picked up.
With a heavy sigh and rubbing her temple to ease the throbbing pain from imbibing too much alcohol she finally answered.  “I didn’t want to bother you with all the drama.  I know you’ve been busy.”
“Jess, how can you say that?  I’m never too busy for you.  You’re my sister.  I will always be there for you.  I want to be there for you,” Rob said with emotion, brining tears to her eyes.
“I know.  It’s just that I wasn’t sure what was going on and when I finally made a decision I just had to get away for a few days.  I was going to tell you the next time I spoke to you, I swear.”
“So what happened?  Jax told me some serious stuff.  I need to know if it’s all true.  You know how Jax is when he gets pissed at someone.  Wait, first I want to know how you’re holding up.”  Jessica knew exactly what he meant about Jackson.  He had a stubborn temperament.  Once he was mad at someone he only focused on the bad.
“Honestly, I don’t know how I feel,” she admitted.  “I’m confused.  I know what I should be feeling and I’ve felt that.  But then it changes and I feel…”
“You’re just scared sis.  You have loved him for so long and now this change…it’s scary.  It’s natural to be confused about it,” Rob summarized.
“What did Jackson tell you happened?”  Jessica really didn’t want to discuss it but her brother was the only one right now who could look at this from the outside and give his perception of the situation.  Rob had that ability to weigh the circumstances before casting judgment.
“That there was someone else.  He said you found out and actually walked in on them.”
“That’s pretty much what happened,” she quietly replied as vivid memories flashed through her mind.
“So you filed for divorce already?  What did Jason have to say about everything?”
“He said he’s going to try to change my mind before the 30 days is up.  He says he wants a chance to try again,” Jessica’s voice was tinged with sadness.
Rob was quiet for a moment before he asked, “Do you think you can forgive him?  I know it’s something you won’t forget, but can you forgive and move on?”
Now it was Jessica who remained silent. 
“It seems you do still love him but at what price?  Losing your sanity wondering who he’s talking to or sleeping with?  You’ll drive yourself insane with insecurity.  I’m not saying you shouldn’t give him another chance and I’m not saying you should either.  Just walk away for awhile and weigh your feelings.  Don’t let anyone tell you one way or the other.  Just do what’s best for you.  Most importantly, take time to heal.  Then you can decide without a doubt.”  He always gave her the best advice.  She felt she could tell him anything and he always had an answer for her.  It was weird because it should be the other way around.  She was the older sibling here, but he was always more settled…down to earth even though he was also the joker of the family.
“Thank you, Robbie.  You always know what to say.  And you’re right.  I need time before making up my mind.  I need time away from Jason, away from California.  Spencer suggested I take a leave of absence for a few months.  I said no but now I think it sounds like a good idea.  I was planning on visiting when Jane has the baby but I think I might just go now and help out until then.  It’s only a couple of months anyway.”  Making this decision was easier now that she spoke to Rob about it.
After they hung up she immediately called Spencer before changing her mind and took him up on his offer.  He hated to lose her at the office but it was only for a few months.  It was agreed that she would not go back to the office.  Spencer would take care of her items there at her desk.  After that was taken care of she grabbed her laptop and made flight arrangements.  The next available flight was the red eye.  That worked out fine, the sooner she left this place the better off she would be.  After booking the flight she started packing. 
The afternoon slipped away into early evening.  Jessica went downstairs to see what was for dinner.  Since her parents would be gone all weekend she had given Karen the day off.  There was no sense in keeping her around to tend to her alone.  Jessica was perfectly capable of making her own food and cleaning after herself.  The fridge was packed with food.  Not really wanting anything too heavy she settled on a banana instead.  The doorbell sounded when she was half way up the stairs heading back to her room so she turned back around to see who was at the door.  Jason was standing there looking disheveled when she pulled open the heavy white door. 
“Jason!  What happened?”  Jessica was beside herself with worry as she ushered him inside.  His dirty blond hair was tussled out of place.  His shirt which was usually nicely pressed and tucked was now wrinkled and partly hanging over the waist of his pants.  There was blood on his shirt from his busted lip.  His left eye was in the early stages of bruising and was slightly swollen.  “Oh my…are you alright?”  Jason sat down on the sofa with a grunt and misery etched on his battered face.  “Let me go get you a cold compress.  I’ll be right back,” she said hurriedly as she started to stand up.
“No,” Jason finally mumbled, reaching for her arm not wanting her to leave him. 
“But, you need something.  At least let me get you a wet cloth to clean off the blood.”
Jason reached down holding his ribs.  This was the second beating he had taken in a week.  He took it and accepted it as retribution from what he had done.  It was karma that he had brought upon himself.  “Just sit with me.”
“Are you going to tell me what happened?” 
Jason shook his head slightly.  This second beating had been worse than the first but that didn’t surprise him really.  He understood exactly why this happened.  The attacker was only trying to protect his sister.  It would be something he would do himself if he had a sister with a jerk of a husband.  It was better if Jessica didn’t know who did this.  But he had made a promise to see her this evening and he wasn’t about to break that promise no matter how much pain he was in or what he looked like.  When Spencer had attacked him in the restaurant he had an audience so there was mild damage.  Tonight however, Robert had no audience.  He had met him in the empty parking garage as Jason was leaving the office.  He knew what was coming as soon as he laid eyes upon his brother-in-law.
With a sigh Jessica sat back down next to him on the sofa.  “Who did this to you?  Please tell me something.”
“I’m alright.  Don’t worry, I’m going to be fine,” he refused to give up his assailant.
Tears were blurring her eyes as she looked at his battered face.  She was not the type of person to turn her back on anyone in their time of need no matter how hurt or angry she felt towards them.  “Come on, I’m going to get you cleaned up starting with a nice hot shower to ease the aches and pains.  I think Robbie still has some of his clothes here so you can change.”
“Jess, it’s alright.  Just sit here with me,” he said as he leaned back against the cushions.  He needed to close his eyes for a moment.  Things were looking a little blurry. 
“Don’t close your eyes!  What if you have a concussion?  Stay awake,” Jessica demanded as she reached in her back pocket for her phone.  Thank goodness she knew exactly who to call.  Having a doctor in the family definitely had its advantages. 
Her brother answered his phone rather quickly assuming she already knew.  “Hello,” he said with trepidation.  No one in the family liked to get Jessica mad.  She could argue anyone into submission and have them begging for her forgiveness within moments.  It must be the lawyer instincts in her.
“Robbie,” she cried out losing the grip she held and allowing the tears to fall.
“Jess, what’s wrong?”
“Oh Robbie…” she cried out even more. 
“Jess, what is it?  Are you alright?  Is it mom or dad?”  Robert became worried. 
“Can you come over?”  Jessica pleaded her request.
“I’m on my way,” he announced without thinking of anything else but getting to his sister.  He rushed over to his parents’ house running through the front door calling out for her.
“In here,” Jessica called out relieved he was finally there and would be able to help.  Robbie hurried into the living room and stopped in his tracks.  He looked at Jessica as she hovered over Jason.  Jason eyed him from where he still laid on the sofa.  “Help him Robbie, please…” Jessica pleaded.
“Uh, what happened?”  Rob kept his eyes focused on Jason. 
“I’m not sure.  He won’t tell me anything,” Jessica said as she looked back to Jason.  “He just showed up like this.  I have no idea what happened or who did this.  You have to help him.  He was feeling dizzy just before you got here and he keeps holding his sides.”
“Hmm,” Robbie said still standing in the same spot.  “Are you still feeling dizzy,” he directed the question at Jason.
Jason shook his head slightly, “I told her I’m alright.  You don’t have to do anything.”
“Stop Jason, you’re hurt of course Robbie’s going to help you,” Jessica insisted.
As much as he didn’t want to do this, as awkward as this whole situation was already, Robert couldn’t say no to his sister’s pleas.  He walked over to stand before Jason.  “Ok, I’m going to check your pupil’s.”  Rob gently felt around Jason’s head, examining for any sensitive spots as he continued to exam him.  Next he checked his ribs.  “Nothing broken, but you will be sore for a few days.  I can prescribe you acetaminophen with codeine to help ease the pain.  You should soak in a warm bath with some Epsom salt.”
“Thanks,” Jason said rather sarcastically going unnoticed by only Jessica.
“Anytime, count on that….Jess, can I have a minute alone with Jason?”  Robert asked his sister.  She found nothing odd about this request as the guys kept their eyes set upon one another.
“Sure.  I’ll just go start the bath,” she announced as she walked from the room.
“Don’t worry, I’m not going to tell her you’re the one who did this,” Jason said bitterly.
“I don’t care one way or the other.  What I want to know is why you’re here?”
“I told Jess I would come by after work today.  I wasn’t going to break my word,” Jason said with a grunt as he shifted trying to sit up.
“Why would that matter now?  You already broke your word when you cheated on her three months after taking your vows,” Rob threw up at him.
“I told Jessica it was a mistake.  I love her and I’ll do anything to save my marriage, even take as many beatings as you can dish out.”
“I’m going to stand by whatever she decides to do.  But know that if she chooses to give you the benefit of the doubt and give you another chance, I will not let you hurt her again.  Or next time, those ribs will be broken along with every other bone in your body,” Robert threatened rather menacingly.  It was very unlike him…Jackson would be so proud.
Jessica entered the room and both men dropped the conversation.  “Can you help me get him into the tub?”  She looked over to Rob as she asked for his help.  She would never be able to get Jason up the stairs on her own.  He was in too much pain and she was afraid of him slipping on the stairs.  Rob didn’t really want to help but couldn’t say no to his sister.  She had a good heart.  Not many people would take care of someone who had hurt them as much as Jason had done.  He helped Jason stand to his feet and supported one side while Jessica moved around to the other.  Slowly they made their way up the stairs and to the steamy bath she had prepared.  It shouldn’t have been awkward for Rob to be in there as Jessica helped Jason out of his clothes since he was a doctor and everything…but it was.  It was especially awkward when Jessica gasped loudly at the sight of the bruises that surrounded Jason’s rib cage.  He looked terrible as if he had been in a car accident.  Jason winced a few times as he moved his arms out of his shirt.  Robbie took pleasure in that.  It was the least he could feel after what he put Jessica through.  What irritated Robbie even more was how he continued to manipulate his sister by getting her to tend to him after all of this.  It was sick.
Just then, while Rob had to turn away not letting anyone see the disgusted look on his face, he noticed Jessica’s travel bag sitting on the counter.  “So you decided to go after all,” he asked using his chin to point towards the open bag.  He didn’t need to elaborate any more on what he just asked.  Jessica knew what he was talking about.
She hesitated a moment as she look towards the bag then back to Rob.  It wasn’t something she wished to discuss right this minute in front of Jason.  Not with him feeling as terrible as he was.  A simple “Yes” was all she spoke.
Jason, who was now being lowered into the tub, looked at Jessica before following their direction to the open cosmetic bag on the counter.  “Are you going somewhere?”
“She’s going to New York for awhile,” Rob answered for her.  He was not going to let this opportunity to enlighten Jason pass by.
With a huff under her breath and an evil glare at her brother Jessica spoke for herself.  “I was leaving for New York tonight on the red eye.  I have some time off and I’m going to help out Jane and Jax since the baby is due soon.”  There was really no reason to explain her plans…to either of them. 
“Oh, I see,” was all Jason could muster.
“Yes, well I think it will be a good vacation for you sis.  You know, just to get away.  Enjoy yourself and spoil those nieces,” Robbie added with a wide grin.  “Hey you never know right.  New city, new you…”
Jessica was irritated and felt like an explanation was now needed.   “I’m not going on a vacation, Robbie.  I’m going to help out Jane.  You know she’s going to have her hands full.  I’m coming back after a few months.  It’s not forever.”
“Of course not,” Robbie agreed with a wide grin.  “But I know you Jess.  Once you get over there and spend time with Summer and the new baby you’re going to have a hard time leaving them.  There’s nothing keeping you here.”
“What about the firm,” Jason interrupted.
“There are plenty of law firms in New York,” he interjected before Jessica had a chance to say anything.
“What about your life here?  Your family…” Jason persisted with ways she would want to come back.
“Mom and dad are fine.  They have their own life.  They always have and always will.  You can’t stay here just for that.”  Rob looked directly at Jason.  They were talking about her future as if they had a say in it and what’s worse is they were doing it right in front of her.  It was absurd.
“What about you?  You guys have always been close,” Jason kept at it.
“I’m always tied up at the hospital.  Once I get done with my internship who knows, I might just join you guys on the east coast.  We could all use some change around here.”  Robert crossed his arms over his chest challenging Jason to say the only other option for Jessica to stay.  He knew Jason was just thinking about himself and he was waiting for him to admit it.  He wanted Jessica to stay here in LA and give him another chance.
Jason looked at Jessica.  She was furious at Robbie for talking about this now in front of Jason especially since he was badly wounded from whatever had happened to him tonight.  What was he trying to do?  Jason was in no condition for all of this right now.  She would have preferred to tell him later at her convenience. 
“That’s enough, Robert.  Thanks for stopping by to help out but I think I’ve got it under control now,” she said seething with anger.  “I’ll walk you to the door.  I’ll just be a minute,” she said to Jason as she grabbed her brother by the arm and lead him from the room.
Robbie had his usual mischievous grin as he left the room.  He knew from experience the she was about to let him have it.  The grin never left his face as he strolled down, step by step, until they reached the foyer. 
“Calm down Jess,” he finally said with a chuckle when she rounded on him, eyes blazing with fury.
“Calm down?  What was that all about back there?  What were you thinking?  Isn’t it bad enough that he was attacked tonight without you pushing the dagger in even further?” 
Wow, she really is mad he thought to himself trying to compose himself upright and losing the grin.  “I just wanted him to admit what he is willing to do to keep you here.  If he wants to work things out then let him fight for you.  You know I’ve never been one to take sides without reasoning the situation out beforehand.  I’m not telling you to never give him another chance.  All I’m saying is take the time you need to heal.  Take the time to forgive.  Take time for you.  If Jason is still the man you want then by all means, come back home and start again.  BUT...” he said weighing heavily on the last word he spoke as he held her at arm’s length, “let him grovel a little for what he’s done.  He deserves to be insecure just like he’s made you feel. That’s all I’m going to say.” 
Robbie reached out to hug his sister and placed a kiss on top of her head.  She grudgingly hugged him back losing the fight to stay mad at him.  She knew he was right and he only had the best intensions where family was concerned.  “Thanks Robbie.  I’ll call you from New York.”
“So you’re still going then,” he asked brightly.  He felt a tug at his heart.  He would hate for his sister to be gone for the next few months but it was the best thing for her right now. 
“Yup, I’m still going.  Take care of yourself ok…and make sure mom and dad are alright.  I’ll call them and let them know once I get settled.” 
“Alright sis…I’ll miss you…love you…take care of yourself and just enjoy your time away.”  The hug was longer than expected and Robbie held on tight.  First Jackson had left and now Jessica.  Robbie knew once she was away she would begin to live again.  She wouldn’t want to come back.
Jessica went back to see how Jason was doing.  He was laying back, eyes closed, soaking in the warm water.  She leaned against the door frame, resting her head on the hard wood, silently watching him from a distance.  He opened his eyes and they gazed at one another continuing the silence.  They both shared a different misery but somehow it felt the same. 
“So you’re really leaving,” Jason asked breaking the silence.  His voice was tormented at the thought of her leaving so far when they had yet to settle the mess he had created here. 
“Yes,” she answered honestly.
Jason thought of so many things he wanted to say but decided it was best to hold his tongue.  He slowly stood deciding it was best for him to leave. 
“What are you doing,” Jessica asked as she hurried over to help him out of the tub. 
“I think I should go.  You probably have a million things to do before you leave tonight.”  He was still in so much pain she hated for him to be alone tonight.
“Nonsense, you’re staying here tonight.  I’ll change my flight for a later time.  It’s not a big deal, really,” she assured him as he looked over at her questionably.  “Besides, you can’t drive home in the shape you’re in.  Just rest here and we’ll see how you’re doing tomorrow.” 
“I don’t want to impose.  I can make it on my own,” Jason said just as he flinched while Jessica helped him into a t-shirt she had gotten from Robbie’s old room.  She also found a pair of nylon basketball shorts for him to sleep in.
“Don’t be ridiculous.  You’re staying here tonight.  Besides, we should talk and this will give us the time to do that with no interruptions.”
Jason nodded in agreement.  They did need to talk.  After Jason was fully dressed and had taken some pain relievers Jessica had insisted he stretch out across her bed facing her as she lay down next to him.  It felt a little uncomfortable as the stillness of the room engulfed them.  Finally finding the courage to break the quiet Jason’s voice was low as he admitted, “I want you to stay.”
Jessica heard his words, his simple request, and it was touching but just not quite enough to change things.  She closed her eyes as she shook her head no.  “I can’t.”
“I don’t know what to say.  I know you’re hurt and it’s my fault but I still want you to stay.  I know I’m being selfish but I don’t want to lose you and if you leave to New York I feel like there’s no hope.  Please don’t run from me Jess,” he pleaded with tenderness in his voice.
“I’m not running.  I just need time…time to think…time to heal…”
“I want to help you with that.  I want to show you that you can trust me again.”  He sounded sincere but she still needed time away.
“I’m barely holding on and I need time away before there’s nothing left for me to hold on to.  What happened last night…it made me realize…” Jessica started to say before Jason finished the sentence for her.
“…we’re not over yet.”
Jessica looked beseechingly into his eyes looking for some kind of answer to what she should do.  No, their relationship wasn’t over yet but where do they go from here?  “You said to give you thirty days…ok.  I need to know things are honestly over with what’s her face.”
“It is I swear it…”
“I need to see that you are willing to make an effort by doing whatever you need to do to show me you still want this.”
“I do…”
“I will keep an open mind and we can go on from there, wherever this journey takes us.”
“So will you stay?”  Jason asked with a glimmer of hope.
“I’m not sure,” Jessica answered honestly.
“But you just said…”
“I said I you need to show me you’re willing to make an effort by doing whatever you need to do to show me you still want this.  So do what you need to do.  I’m going to leave it at that.  If I have to elaborate any more than it would be just like me telling you what you need to do and I want this to come from you.”  It was important that Jason made the decisions himself without needing things to be pointed out.  Hopefully he makes the right ones. 
“Jess…” he started to say something.
“Just get some rest now.  You always said your best plans came to you in your dreams.”  Jessica closed her eyes and tried to get some sleep.  Neither one of them spoke again for the rest of the night.  Both had not found the serenity of their dreams as sleep evaded the two most of the night. 

Friday, August 9, 2013

Simply Amazing - Chapter 9

The following morning Jessica awoke rather groggy.  With a massive headache from a hangover she swore she would never drink so recklessly again.  Not wanting to move and keeping her eyes shut tight, Jessica tried to think back on the events of last night.  There had been dancing and drinking…lots of drinking.  There was a guy she danced with.  And…Jason, she vaguely remembered Jason had been there last night.  She racked her thudding brain trying to remember what Jason had told her.  Why was he there last night and how did he know where she was at?  Was he there to see her or was this a chance meeting?  Amy will tell her what happened last night…
Amy…what happened to her friends last night?  Jessica couldn’t recall leaving them last night.  She didn’t recall even leaving the club at all let alone on how she ended up in bed.  Opening one eye to view the surroundings and she knew she was back in her hotel room.  Rolling onto her back, both eyes closed once again, she realized in an instant that she was naked.  With a dreaded sigh and her arm thrown across her eyes she tried to remember why she was naked.  All she could see was darkness…darkness and lips against her body.  Another dreadful sigh was more audible at the realization that she was not alone in this room.
“Good morning sleepy head.  How is your head, by the way?”  The male voice rang out from somewhere in the room.  Her sense of direction was still out of focus and she really didn’t have the strength or the desire to see where this voice was coming from.  She grunted in response still refusing to open her eyes.  “I thought so.  Here, take these,” he instructed as he placed two pain relievers up to her lips until she opened her mouth followed by a straw he had placed inside of a water bottle.  “Drink as much as you can.  You’re probably dehydrated.  I know you didn’t eat last night.”
Jessica felt grateful for the nice gesture.  She was very thirsty and he was right, she was dehydrated and really did skip dinner.  She laid there another minute, her brows drawn into a frown.  There was an uneasiness that crept up her spine.  This guy was being very nice. 
“Do you want to try to eat some dry toast or is your stomach not ready for that yet?”
That voice…the small hairs at the back of her neck prickled.  She knew that voice.  More details of last night came tumbling forward.  Memories flashed through her mind of his lips exploring her body, of the way he touched and caressed her, of the words he spoke.  The same words she had overheard one late night hidden in the darkness.  Jessica jerked upright still clutching the covers against her, her eyes blazing in fury as she quickly found her target. 
“Jason, what the hell are you doing here?”  Jessica demanded an answer.  What was he thinking by bringing her here last night?  Instantly regretting the sudden movements she raised her hands up to her hold her aching head.
“Jess, calm down alright.  I had no intentions for anything that happened last night other than making sure you were safe.  That’s all,” he said sincerely as he held up his hands as if he were surrendering himself in a hostile environment.
“Oh give me a freaking break!  You knew I was drunk, you knew I was leaving with…with…”
“See, you can’t even remember his name.  If I hadn’t taken you out for some fresh air you would have left with that guy and who knows what might have happened to you,” Jason tried to reason.
“I’m a grown woman, damn it!  If I decide to have a one night stand then it’s none of your business.  And don’t give me that crap that you were trying to protect me.  Why do you want to take on that role now when last week you were the one I needed protection from?  You knew what was going to happen when you brought me here.  You had every intention…” Jessica stammered.
“You’re wrong, Jess.  I was only taking you out for some fresh air, that’s all.  When we got outside you’re the one that suggested we come back here.  I thought it’s what you wanted.  You can’t deny you didn’t enjoy it.  You know we’ve always been good together in that department.  You wanted me last night and I wasn’t going to deny you something that you obviously needed,” he argued back.
“Shut up!  Just shut up already!  I don’t want or need anything from you anymore.  You are the last person I would ever want that from again,” Jessica spat out.
Jason stood, hands on hips, shaking his head in denial.  “No Jess, we have a connection between us.  You will always want me and I you.  Once you calm down and think rationally you will realize it too.  I told you before I’m not ready to give up on us yet.  And after last night I know I’m not the one who’s fooling himself, you are.  I’m going to head out now, I’m already running late.  I’ll talk to you later this evening after you have cooled down a bit.  Are you going to be alright here?”
Jessica was aggravated beyond belief at the gall of him thinking there was any chance between them.  Or even the fact that he presumed she would talk to him later tonight.  “No Jason.  Don’t contact me, don’t call or send flowers.  I don’t want any of it.  Get out and stay away from me from now on,” she demanded.
With a heavy sigh Jason dropped his head down not wanting to continue this argument.  He grabbed his keys off of the table and headed for the door.  Stopping with his hand resting on the doorknob Jason turned back to look over at Jessica.  She was beautiful with her tussled hair and her fighting spirit shining bright in her eyes.  With a sad smile Jason confirmed his intentions, “I’ll talk to you tonight.”  He left the room not waiting for her to argue again.  He would talk to her tonight as he promised just as he was sure that their marriage was not over.  Especially after the passion they shared last night.  No, Jessica was meant to be his wife and he planned to keep it that way.
Jessica growled out in frustration after seeing Jason walk out that door with full confidence.  She couldn’t believe she had been so wasted that she didn’t realize it was Jason who she left the club with.  What a mess this turned out to be.  All she had wanted was a night out with her friends spent dancing and living it up to get her mind off of Jason.  When in the end it just drove her into his arms again.  She fell back onto the bed burying her head beneath the covers as she wailed into the pillow.  After shedding every last tear Jessica finally got up and showered.  She needed to rinse away the filth she felt at knowing she had slept with Jason again after he has been with that slut Robyn.  It was disgusting. 
After the scalding shower Jessica checked her phone surprised that she had missed calls and text message after test message mostly from Amy but also a few from Meghan and Tory.
“Where are you?” a few said.  “Are you at the hotel?” “Are you with Adam?”
Adam.  That was his name.  Wonder what happened to him  Jessica typed out a message to her friends letting them know she was fine and she would talk to them later.  Bringing up Jason right now was not the best thing.  She didn’t feel like reliving last night, or at least the parts that she could remember.  It was frustrating to know that even with a broken heart Jason could still make her body burn with desire.  It was confusing to feel so much anger and hate for a person that could still have such a powerful connection when her defenses were down.  She didn’t want to still want him.  She definitely didn’t need him.  But in all honesty she did still love him, no matter what he had done, she still loved him.  That was the thing that frustrated her the most.  How could she fight the temptation she was sure to succumb to when he was near?  Jason surely knew the power he still held over her especially after last night.  He would use it to his advantage.  There was no way he would give up now.
Jessica needed to get out of this room.  She needed to get away from reminiscing of Jason.  She just had to get away from Jason period.  After packing away all of her personal items she checked out of her room and headed back to her parents’ home.  The drive was nice and quiet.  There was a lot to think about so there was no hurry to get back.  Jason had said the other day he was going to try and change her mind about going through with the divorce.  He sent her the most beautiful roses she had ever seen.  He showed up at the club and other than completely ruining her night he stayed his distance but kept a watchful eye on her.  He knew she was drunk so he took her out outside to get some air and walk around trying to sober her up.  Then he brought her the release she had craved…needed.  Was he capable of change?  He had lied before, who’s to say he wouldn’t do it again…  It was as though the old Jason had returned.  Jason the protector, just as he had been during her families trying times over the last year.
Just the other day Jessica had been so sure that she would be able to move on, to walk away from him.  Sure it was going to be hard but now it seemed impossible.  The anger had dissipated turning into lonely sadness.  There was no one she could turn to that would just hear out all of the doubts playing across her mind without offering their opinion.  Right now there was no one she was close to that would keep an open mind where Jason was concerned.  The only one to suggest Jason get another chance was her mother.  At the time it had felt like a stab in the back.  Now however, perhaps she seen the inevitable.  Perhaps she was meant to be with Jason.  Through thick and thin…that all sounded good, but what happened to love, honor and respect? 
It was all so much to handle when she didn’t know what was the right decision to work towards.  Jessica hated to feel this way.  To be so undecided was not something she was use to.  In the past, there had never been anything that she wasn’t sure on.  This was different; it was a major life changing decision.  She needed more time to herself to think without having her mother hovering about her.  She pulled off of the freeway on the next exit heading for the coffee shop that was just down the street.  A good strong cup of coffee would help clear her muddled mind.  Sitting at the table hidden off to a corner spot in the little diner, she sipped on her coffee mindlessly looking through the apps on her phone before choosing to scan through the photo gallery of happier times.  There were so many of Jason smiling, or being silly…even a few where he looked rather seductive.  Her heart ached for him. 
The waitress walked over to refill her coffee and offered to get her something to eat.  Jessica declined.  She wasn’t hungry; hadn’t been for quite some time.  Instead she got up to use the ladies room.  After gently applying a cool cloth to her eyes Jessica went back to her table.  The diner had a few more patrons that had come in for lunch.  There were still a few tables empty.  There was one table that caught her attention as she scanned the room, or more precisely, the occupant had caught her attention. 
Jason sat alone with a file out as he read over some documents.  Jessica picked up the magazine she had carried in to observe in hidden silence.  The waitress walked over filling a cup of coffee for him before she took his order.  Jason continued looking over his paperwork after the waitress walked away.  He never looked up, never took notice of his surroundings.  He did not realize when that slut walked in and directly walked over to where he was seated.  Standing there, her hands placed on her hips, she glared down at him until he finally acknowledged her without bothering to look at her.  Jessica couldn’t hear them from where she was seated so she tried to focus on reading their lips.  Of course she couldn’t see Robyn as her back was still turned in Jessica’s direction.  However she could see Jason clear as day and he was not happy about something.  Apparently Robyn wasn’t either, as her hands remained on her hips and she didn’t bother taking the seat across from him.
“Not now, I’m busy…” Jason had said.  Robyn said something in return causing Jason to slam his paperwork down on the table, finally acknowledging her by looking up at her face.  “I told you,” he gritted, “She’s still my wife and I still love her.  I’m not giving her up without a fight.”  Robyn’s shoulder’s seemed to sag a little in defeat as she mouthed something else.  Jason shook his head negatively with what seemed to be regret on his face.  “Do what you have to do.”
Robyn left, holding back the tears that threaten to spill.  Jason rubbed his hands over his face, weary of the encounter.  The waitress delivered his food and he pushed it aside.  He looked out the window watching Robyn screech out of the parking lot when he noticed Jessica’s car.  With wide eyes Jason turned to scan the little diner.  She kept her head down and magazine up.  He can’t find me here she silently prayed over and over.  The waitress had come back over to refill his coffee and Jessica took this opportunity to make a quick dash out of there.  Jason scanned the room again but didn’t see Jess anywhere.  He looked back out to the spot her car had been parked just in time to see it pulling out of the stall before leaving the parking lot.  He knew it had been Jessica just as he knew she had caught him with Robyn once again.  This time however was different, but would Jessica see it that way?